Starring: Matt Bomer as Guy Handsome, Jared Leto as Joe Handsome and Special Guest Star Rosario Dawson as the Goddess Pele.
Guest Star: Bob Hoskins
Things were never slow in the pedicab trade, at least not for the Handsome brothers, Joe and Guy. They had a never ending female clientele as well as the odd family, gay guys, and on this particular day...
Guy ran up to a smallish man who was wrestling several large bags and a green spiked collar meant maybe for a dog the size of Clifford. “Here, let me help you with that.”
“Thanks, buddy.” The man was stout, and beginning to show a certain amount of pattern balding. He was dressed, quite surprisingly in a green toga, which was hiked up to show very loud yellow red and green plaid shorts and huarachi sandals with white tube socks.
Joe, who was deep into his actuarial tables saw and heard nothing until the man settled into his pedicab.
All the bags were deposited into Guy's pedicab, but the man saw Joe's screen just as he closed it and said, “an insurance man!”
So he introduced himself as Lee Berto. His small company was also an insurance and investment counseling place, called Liberty, on account, he explained that his goal was to free people from worry about death, dismemberment and retiring on a dog food diet.
“Yes, if you consider the payments as an annuity over the years...” Joe began to agree.
Here, Guy interrupted. “What is with the toga and the pycopay dog collar?”
Cut to commercial: Steampunk. *images of Vernesque mechanizations and happy, albeit mad, scientists in rose colored goggles.
“Oh, that.” Lee laughed, “this is my statue of Liberty costume!” He explained that he intended to spend the day in costume, waving at all passers by in order to bolster business.
“No offense,” Joe remarked casting a long and contemplative look over his shoulder at his passenger, “but people really want an insurance broker to seem serious... maybe even dour.”
“Not here.” Lee Berto countered, “this is Paradise. In Paradise people like a bloke with a sense of humor.”
“But the Statue of Liberty is a tall stout woman.” Guy just had to put that out there.
“I could stand outside with maybe just the tiara and torch and you could actually look like you to speak to customers.” Joe offered before his occipital lobe and his frontal cortex could synchronize. (He just loved being in Insurance.)
“You are a pair of righteous Dudes.” Lee Berto remarked. “Would you?”
And so, for the rest of the day, Joe did just that. Standing out in front of the sign that proclaimed, Liberty from Fear of Death, Dismemberment or Retirement on the Dog Food Menu Plan.
Guy wondered how he ended up involved, but since he was, he undertook to entertain the children of the mostly female clientèle who dropped in, with games of freeze tag, and red rover, as their Moms spoke to Lee Berto, and most of their Moms chatted up his brother and himself as well. Especially the single ones.
Pele laughed. It never ceased to amuse her that neither Guy nor Joe Handsome could figure out why so many women flocked around them. “Goofballs.” She whispered to you all, dear audience.
Our next Episode: Katty on a hot tin Roof.
No comments:
Post a Comment