Starring: Matt Bomer as Guy Handsome, Jared Leto as Joe Handsome and Special Guest Star Rosario Dawson as the Goddess Pele.
Guest star: Akebono and Robert Downy, Jr.
“You do realize,” Joe said, “even if I was immortal... free of disease and senescence, the only causes of death possible to me could be accident, suicide and homicide.. there are only one in a billion chances that I would have a median lifespan of 1,200 years and a maximum lifespan of 25,000 years, right?”
Tony cocked his head and replied, “Time and lifespan here are measured subjectively--from the viewpoint of the individual in question. People who are practically immortal are only 'immortal' until a fatal accident catches up with them. Those who are physically immortal are, roughly speaking, 'immortal' to the end of time. Those who are completely immortal are as 'immortal' as it is logically possible to be. And those who are literally immortal will simply never die, period. For our current purposes, I will take immortality to mean physical immortality, as defined above...” Then he added wryly, “give or take.”
The Big Man considered, “but say I get run down by a passing chlorofiend, there will clearly be some universes in which I survive--at least from the point of view of some time shortly before the accident occurs. At the point when major miracles would be required to save me, it is possible that my death becomes 100% fated to happen--that is, if major miracles are eliminated as a possibility. But even if they are eliminated, my doomed state will not last for very long. Given the generally chaotic nature of the world, it seems a safe bet that this doomed state will not be reached until shortly before the accident. Ergo, so long as I can live with the fact that I might, in a small percentage of universes, exist for brief periods of time with the knowledge that I will die, then minor miracles offer a kind of immunity from death by accident.”
Guy hung his head down and sighed behind the Game Master's screen. “Look, can't you guys just roll the dice and see what happens like normal people?”
“But as a Knight of the Sword, the Big Man has to factor in that even the inevitability of death by action or accident may in some way alter the Universe.” Joe postulated, “I think it merits at least some discussion.”
“Look,” Tony said, “if you took Omega Point theory...” He borrowed a white board marker, and wrote a formula on the plexiglass that overlaid the peg board which delineated the area of the adventure which they were in. “The Omega Point is thus a person, eternal, omniscient, and due to the reversibility of the Einstein field equations, omnipresent, and if one accepts that this Being contains all of the algorithms of all natural processes, omnipotent.”
The other two nodded.
Cut to Commercial: The Dresden Files RPG, available in bundled order and PDF now! http://is.gd/bSZgw
Pele glided over toward the small cadre of men sitting around the low table, all of them with their shirts off. She sipped from her cup and wondered why the lines on the table were so very interesting to them... “what are you doing?” She asked.
Soon she was handed dice, and found herself a small pizza loving creature, only 8 inches high. She could fly, and she could ride on a canine or a feline if she wished it. More importantly, she could assist a Wizard in smiting trolls under a bridge. “Oh,” she said, “this is delightful! But you boys all understand, don't you, there are no Trolls anymore outside of Scandinavia, right?”
“No more technical discussion!” Guy decreed. “During the break when we have pizza. Otherwise? Otherwise... I will have DemiWho show up, and I don't care which system we are using.”
Joe instantly put a silencing finger to his lips. “You really, really don't want him to pull out his DemiWho.”
But Pele playing with her pretty, pretty, pretty lava hued dice, wasn't actually so sure she didn't.
Our Next Episode: Cinco de Mayo, Hawaiian Style.
