Starring: Matt Bomer as Guy Handsome, Jared Leto as Joe Handsome and Special Guest Star Rosario Dawson as the Goddess Pele.
Guest Star: Jamie Bamber as Kaz Kaiser, Fozzy Bear as Waka, Henry Cho as Mo-o, and Robin Williams as Kauhuhu
Pele was decked out as the cheerleader of the lava! She even had glowing red pompoms, (which her husband would find amusing later on...) she was excited because Guy Handsome had ponied up enough tips to enter the Iron Man competition. When he won, it would bring her much ju-ju!
But there were jealous eyes studying the Handsome brothers. Kaz Kaiser, a German ex-patriot who had time and again been defeated on the beach by the pair whom he thought of as the Hapless Brothers. They had rented that bungalow from the Soo widows right from under his nose, and they had such a niceness about them it made him want to hurl.
So, when he knew he was up against Guy Handsome in the Iron Man, he decided to get a little extra help. To that end he sought out every shaman on the Big Island, and then after each had told him how to get to Carnegie Hall... he went to Molakai, and sought the cave of the Shark god!
“Look,” said Mo-o, one of Kauhuhu's cave guards and back up singers, “take out!”
“Waka-waka!” Said Waka, the other of Kauhuhu's cave guardians and harmonist. He readied his boutonniere of death.
Kaz Kaiser was no fool, he came armed with a harpoon gun and a six pack of Heineken. “We can do this one of two ways!” He shouted down to the cave, “you can let me see your Master, the great Kauhuhu, and get some brewskis or I can shoot you and feed you to the Kauhuhu when gets home.”
Mo-o, who had no boutonniere of death, suggested, “let's chat over the beer, and then we can make an informed decision!”
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The Great Kauhuhu, who once upon a time traveled only in Shark Form had, ever since a bad experience with the Kratt Brother, and some severe disinformation in Finding Nemo, taken to traveling by jet ski and wearing a faux Shark Skin Suit. “Damn PETA people!” He shouted, mopping at ketchup.
“Waka-waka.” Waka agreed and squirted the boutonniere of death at imaginary PETA people.
Kauhuhu sniffed the air. “Well,” he shouted, as he was prone to speaking loudly when he was above water, “either there is some sort of tasty offering here or two cave guardians are about to be on unemployment.”
“Orrrrr...” Mo-o said, “you might get a little Heinie and some vengeance on that Pele biotch!”
“Don't get me started on the havok she's causing with the Greenland relations.” Kauhuhu seized Waka and shook him violently. “They can't sleep! They're Sleeping Sharks and they can't sleep!”
“Waka!” Said Waka as he sailed past Mo-o, who ducked.
Kaz stood forward and said, “I will reap your vengeance for you Lord Kauhuhu. Can you help me defeat Guy Handsome in the upcoming Iron Man?”
“Ooooh,” Kauhuhu grinned with a saw toothed smile, “yes, I do like that idea. They fooled one of my Great White hopes into swallowing a Nerf football. Let's plot!”
