Bow wow...
Starring: Matt Bomer as Guy Handsome, Jared Leto as Joe Handsome and Special Guest Star Rosario Dawson as the Goddess Pele.
Chicka boom...
Guest Star: Jamie Bamber as Kaz Kaiser
Oh yeah....
Guy was laying in bed, looking out the window. He decided that he was going to take the day before the big race off.
Joe thought that was a less than optimal concept.
Kaz Kaiser, unaware of the sudden change in plans, was beginning a foul plot to stymie Guy's last day of training.
“Aw, lighten up, Joe!” Guy said, “sometimes you have to stop and smell the Pua Aloalo!” Then he sat in the back of his brother’s pedicab and made him drive them both to breakfast.
Kaz was certain that he had glimpsed the Handsomes out of the corner of his eye, and he jumped onto his training bicycle to catch them.
On any other day, it would have been no contest, but today was the day before the Iron Man, and there were street festivals and parades. Unless you really knew your way around, like say a pedicab operator would, especially one who was also an actuarial, then as happened to Kaz, you would get bogged down in traffic and the massing of humanity.
Time and again Kaz just missed finding and catching up to the brothers. He was getting more and more aggravated by the moment. Not by his inability to catch the brothers, as much as by the fact that whenever he asked for them, people tended to get besotted looks on their faces, and say what nice guys they were. Then chat him up with an amusing anecdote. It made him fume!
Meanwhile, at the Food and Culture Festival, Guy was strumming his ukulele and singing Danke Shoen to the lady at the Sausage and Mash booth. She had given he and his brother some free samples in hopes of getting “a ride later on” when she was “off duty.”
Cut to commercial: Tonight's episode is brought to you by the state of Hawai'i, which was once an independent kingdom. (1810 – 1893.) The Yellow Hibiscus, or Pua Aloalo, is it's state flower.
Joe saved his brother from eating too much at the festival by pointing out that there was a Parade on Ala Moana Boulevard, and a hot dog eating contest that he wanted to enter later at Hank's Haute Dogs.
Meanwhile, Kaz made a tactical error and decided to sneak around the Handsome Brother's bungalow, where he ran afoul of one of the Madam's Soo, who (having a certain prowess in the martial arts) kicked him in the nose while the other Madam Soo called the police.
Kaz found himself waking up with two black eyes in the local pokey, where he was greeted with the smiling face of Brah of the Stink Eye Pali. “I don't suppose you have heard of Guy Handsome.” Kaiser asked with disdain.
“Guy? Yeah, great fella, can't hold his Vodka.” Brah said.
Kaz rolled his eyes and sank back down.
Joe won the Hot Dog eating contest, and didn't even bat an eye. Of course it was just a local competition... Still, he got to ride on a float in the parade afterward, and he and Guy did a kick-ass lip sync of Twist and Shout together, that made everyone (except Kaz, who was getting bailed out by the German embassy and his coach) well pleased.
