Starring: Matt Bomer as Guy Handsome, Jared Leto as Joe Handsome and Special Guest Star Rosario Dawson as the Goddess Pele.
Guest Stars: Jamie Bamber as Kaz Kaiser, Fozzy Bear as Waka, Henry Cho as Mo-o, and Robin Williams as Kauhuhu
Akebono as the Big Man.
The Big Man grabbed either Handsome brother with a huge and meaty paw. “Hey, I hear you are entering in the Iron Man.” He said, now eye to eye with them.
Joe pointed to Guy, “he is. I am da coach.”
“I am,” Guy said, “he is da coach,” pointing to Joe.
“You are strange little men,” The Big Man said. “What are you going to pedal? That?” He paused and pointed to the pedicab that Guy used. Then he snorted and carried the brothers behind his stand. “Here,” He put them down and handed Guy a magnesium framed bicycle, “I want you to ride this.”
Guy looked and was amazed. “That is a Fuji D-6 COMP!”
Joe said, “it's pink.”
“Fuchsia,” the Big Man said, “it was my daughter's. She is a Hammerhead.”
“Hammerhead?” Both Brothers asked in unison, of course.
He scratched his head, and nodded, “but she is about your size, so I figured since I got her a new one, you could use this one.”
“Oh, well, in that case, thank you, Big Man,” Guy was hugging the bike.
“Yeah, no problem,” The Big Man said, “just win.” Then he went back to his booth.
Joe watched his brother make-out with the bike and asked, “Hammerhead?” They shrugged at each other. The having of a real bike resolved a lot of issues.
Most of the competitors, like Kaz Kaiser had corporate sponsors who provided equipment, whereas Guy would be wearing what he always wore to run and swimming in a speedo. Still he wasn't worried, People had been swimming long before the advent of neoprene, and well.
Cut to Commercial: Tonight’s episode is brought to you by Ghost Story by Jim Butcher and by the Butcher Boards, a fan forum for nice people to be urbane in discussions about our favorite author and his works. http://www.jim-butcher.com/posts/2011/ghost-story-publication-date-bumped-to-july
Mo-o walked with dragging feet back to Kauhuhu's cave and said, “Waka and I waited all day at the course and we didn't see a single shirtless Handsome person.” Waka agreed with an effete gesture.
“Idiots!” Kaz Kaiser snapped at them, “you can't practice on the actual route, it is against the rules.”
Kauhuhu looked up from his pool table and said, “You've heard how nowadays, good help is hard to find? Good help has always been hard to find. Maybe you should go see what is up with that Handsome Guy, yourself.”
Kaz nodded, “I shall,” And he left the cave in a huff.
“Did he sign the contract?” Kauhuhu asked Waka.
Waka nodded and held up the carefully constructed document, indicating the signature line with a sweeping gesture which would make Vanna White proud.
The three looked at each other and rolled with laughter.
