Starring: Matt Bomer as Guy Handsome, Jared Leto as Joe Handsome and Special Guest Star Rosario Dawson as the Goddess Pele.
Honorable Guest Stars: President Barack Obama and Mrs. Michelle Obama
“Maybe,” Guy said enthusiastically to his brother, “if we both put on ugly polyester shirts Pele would leave those poor Icelanders alone and come home?”
“Ooh, that thought is not without merit I think I want to find an orange shirt with a zipper down the front. Like Huggy Bear wore...” Joe grinned. It was seldom that someone got to do something so brave and so selfless and yet so simple and so safe!
“Mount up, Bro!” Guy cried aloud.
“I hate when you call me Bro.” Joe cried back and threw a pillow at his brother.
“Bro.” Guy said from the door as he ran for his pedicab.
Soon the brothers were racing along the road for the local Goodwill, for only at a Goodwill type store or certain online boutiques could shirts of such utter hidiosity be found.
Every volunteer in the place joined them in their search for polyester shirts, especially hearing that the shirts would be use in such way as to
We interrupt this program with a special bulletin from President Barack Obama:
“My fellow citizens: As you may know by now, air traffic in the northern hemisphere has been severely hampered by the eruptions in Iceland. This has stranded many Americans abroad.”
The image is suddenly pushed aside by Michelle Obama, who faces you, our dear viewers: “My fellow Americans. I really feel for the Americans stranded aboard too, but I think if you are watching this show, you probably want to see men with no shirts on. Therefore I have taken it upon myself to show you all the best shots of our heroes, Guy and Joe Handsome, while my husband talks about the things you will read on Twitter tomorrow, anyway.”
The first Lady smiles as images of not only Joe and Guy Handsome appear shirtlessly on screen, but also men who they have recruited during the opening of the speech are also shirtless, “Ooh yes, Denzel.” The first lady announces. She smiles. “I am, as you know, Happily Married. But I am not dead.”
“Arlen Escarpeta . Ms. Pele, are you watching this? Hmm?”
“Mmm, mm, mm Mr. Shemar Moore.” The First Lady points to the close caption crawl with her husbands speech, “See, I married such a smart man, but he is wearing a shirt! A shirt!”
Pele, playing with her new husband, was not watching the TV. She did not often marry a mortal, but when she did, she usually stuck it out at least fifty or sixty years.
“And of course,” the First Lady continued, “our heroes, Joe and Guy Handsome.” Who were now wearing shirts that would have made any disco king weep hot tears.
“Oh no they aren't!” Mrs. Obama shook her head. “Back to Hubby!”
“In conclusion,” Barack Obama said, “vulcanologists have stated that we can expect eruptions such as this to continue in Iceland for the next fifty or sixty years.”
But you, dear demographic, already knew that.
Our next episode: Sacrifice
