Starring: Matt Bomer as Guy Handsome, Jared Leto as Joe Handsome
and Special Guest Star Rosario Dawson as the Goddess Pele.
The chopper ride over the caldera would always be the other brother's idea. That was how it was. But you and I know that the helicopter pilot was really the one who had talked he Handsome brothers into taking a spin.
Joe thought it was a silly superstition idea to throw a bottle of rum into a volcano. Guy thought it was a funny idea to buy cheap rum to to throw into a volcano.
The helicopter pilot thought it was a bad omen when the rum was thrown and missed...
Both brothers were in long pants and sleeved shirts that day. Tourists from Chicago, avoiding the inevitable sunburn.
When the helicopter crashed, it was a lucky thing. For them that they had worn clothes that could protect them from sulfuric gasses and volcanic glass.
But it was what was under the clothing that saved their lives.
Cut to commercial: Go see How to Train your Dragon. Futharks that partially are correctly used to spell stuff in English.
The Handsome brothers had crawled almost up out of the noxious gasses. They were laying there each trying to save the other, due a bad case of bromance. No, the really hot manly kind that makes gals sigh.
Then she appeared to them, looking just like Rosario Dawson in a tight dress made out of Magma, “hey boys, what is with the cheap rum?”
Guy frowned. “That was my fault. Please, take me and let my brother live!”
“No.” Joe said inching a little closer to the woman (maybe not for purely selfless reasons. Her skirt was very short.) “I had the bad arm, let my brother live, and take me instead.”
Pele, well she liked the selflessness of two hunky guys each willing to die for the other. So she spared them both, and she cursed them both.
Here is the curse: They would never again be able to wear a shirt unless it was with a tuxedo, or was silk unbuttoned. Mesh would be okay if it ever came back into style. If they tried to wear a shirt, either of them, they would be thrown into an adventure.
There was a curse codicil: They would never drink rum again. All their rum was hers. If they ordered a rum a coke? They got coke. The rum was always gone. To her. Forever.
Pleased with her work, Pele lounged on her palanquin and was carried back to her fiery home by fine looking Hawaiian men.
Stay tuned for our next episode. “two old ladies rent cheap to men without shirts.”
