Starring: Matt Bomer as Guy Handsome, Jared Leto as Joe Handsome and Special Guest Star Rosario Dawson as the Goddess Pele.
Guest Starring: Davey Havok as Pizarro Fino
“Most recent statistics reveal that an estimated 84.1 million pounds of avocados will be consumed this year for Cinco de Mayo.” Joe said, not glancing up from his laptop.
“Really?” Guy said, “well, I am going to make that figure low when people taste my new invention.” He handed his brother a slice of his avocado-pineapple pie.
“I like the way you used coconut and a cherry to get that red white and green effect with it.” Joe took a bite. “Mm.”
“First place mm or second place mm?” Guy asked. Even though things had worked out well, and Tony promised that when it was time he would provide transport for Joe to Chicago, he did sometimes still wish he had won.
“Maybe third place mm.” Joe said, mostly for the reaction.
Only the proximity of the laptop save Joe from an avocado-pineapple facial and hair treatment.
The Handsome brothers had gone all out and dressed themselves and their pedicabs up for the local Cinco de Mayo. Each brother bore a wide brimmed sombrero, and Joe had thrown a Mexican Blanket, borrowed from the Madams Soo, over the seat section of his cab. Guy had gone for the red white and green crepe look, and had placed a Mexican flag just under the American flag that always adorned his pedicab, opposite the vermillion safety flag required by law.
Even Pele had gotten into the spirit of the event, she arrayed herself as an Aztec Goddess, all in crimson and gold and her bearers sported bandoliers across bare chests and handlebar mustachios. “Arriba! Arriba!” She shouted joyously.
Cut to Commercial: : http://www.vulcantourism.com/ Yes, there is a town called Vulcan in Alberta Canada, and all trekkie-types should a pilgrimage there attempt.
“Hey, guy!” Pizarro Fino shouted. He was dressed in total goth, piercings, tats, leathers, plus an outrageous serape, replete with tiny skulls throughout.
Guy stopped and said, “Si Senor?” He grinned. His Spanish accent sounded as far south as the South Side of Chicago.
“I have a gig at the Cha Cha Cha Salsaria, and I don't even know where that is? Can you get me there, and not rip me off too badly?”
“Sure.” Guy said, “my brother and I have to head over that way anyway, soon.”
“Yeah?” Pizarro settled into the pedicab. “I don't get it... what it with the whole Cinco sensation here? It is freakin' Hawaii dudes!”
Joe laughed, “what could possibly be wrong with a holiday that means eating nachos and drinking tequila?”
“What are we actually celebrating though?” The passenger asked.
“While Cinco de Mayo sees limited significance and celebration nationwide in Mexico, the date is observed as a celebration of Mexican heritage and pride, ” Joe informed him. “In Mexico it celebrates an unlikely Mexican victory over superior French forces at the battle of Puebla, in 1862. Although, for us, it is more like, Eat Guacamole Day.”
“You mean it isn't the Mexican fourth of July?” Their fare asked.
“That is exactly what it isn't.” Joe admitted.
Guy introduced himself and his brother to their fare, even though he technically wasn't Joe's fare. “Plus we get to hear Roshan play with the Santana Tribute band.”
“No shit? When is that?” Pizarro Fino asked.
“Just after the Son Caribe Salsa Band at 7.” Joe said, “and before that, Guy is entering his new pie in the Hawai'ispanic Desert Challenge.”
“Hey! That's the gig I am hosting!” Piz clapped his hands and laughed. “Too bad I'm not judging, I'd let you win.”
“Nah, I have to do that on my own merits or I get all gloomy,” Guy said cheerfully.
And his pie didn't make it in the top three, but did take the Best Haole Gringo Attemptola category by storm.
