Starring: Matt Bomer as Guy Handsome, Jared Leto as Joe Handsome and Special Guest Star Rosario Dawson as the Goddess Pele.
Guest Star: Jonathan Rhys Davies as Mr. Grimshank
Joe answered his cell and almost started to jump up and down. Then as the conversation progressed Guy could see his brother's spirits drop.
“Who was that?” Guy asked his brother.
“That was Mr. Grimshank,” Joe replied.
"About, what?" Guy asked.
"Nothing," Joe replied.
"That wasn't a nothing," Guy said. "About, what?"
"About NOTHING," Joe replied.
This conversation repeated several times and then, Joe excused himself.
Guy knew Mr. Grimshank. He was Joe's boss at Aeon, Gnosis and Flux Guarantee and Trust. He was Joe's hero. In fact when Joe was President of the Actuarial Club at UIC, it was Mr. Grimshank who had been their keynote speaker.
So in an almost unprecedented action, Guy picked up his brother's phone, not to cop minutes, but to dial *69.
“Joe?” Grimshank's larger than life voice came over the phone. Of course he had caller ID, he was an actuarial.
“No, sir. This is Guy, Joe's brother.” Guy said.
“I remember you!” Grimshank said. “What has gotten in to that brother of yours? We want to honor him at the Annual Association of Actuarials Antics this year, and he says he can't make it?”
Cut to commercial: An Actuarial is sent to Hell with a snowball, and says to the Devil, “Good sir, I will be out of here just as soon as I've adequately determined this snowball's chances, and not one second sooner.”
Ah, Guy realized, this was the reason for Joe's sine curve mood. “Mr. Grimshank, I think he staying here to take care of me.” He thought quickly and said, “I have developed a skin condition,” his hand strayed across his chest, “yes, and I need my skin exposed to all the wonderful light and sea air here in Hawaii.”
“Reallllly?” Grimshank asked, in a voice that was in actuality stating that he knew bovine excrement when he heard it. He was, after all, an actuarial.
“Yes, but I will try to get him there, Mr Grimshank.” Guy said, taking the high road. “When does he need to be there?”
Grimshank gave the date to Guy Handsome. “This is a big step in his career, if he misses it... well, you couldn't calculate his chances of getting the opportunity again without Big Blue and a few years.”
Guy nodded, even though Mr. Grimshank couldn't see him. “He will be there... if it kills me,” He promised.
Grimshank laughed and pointed out that Guy was a healthy non-smoker with an active lifestyle, and so had very little to worry about.
Guy knew better. He had a lot to worry about, and his first step was to earn some fast cash for a private plane.
Our next episode: The Plan
