Starring: Matt Bomer as Guy Handsome, Jared Leto as Joe Handsome and Special Guest Star Rosario Dawson as the Goddess Pele. Guest starring: John Barrowman
Guy and Joe Handsome were, at first, elated that they had found a laundry where you didn't need to have a shirt. You could drop off or you could do your own laundry.
Guy was all for dropping off. Joe pointed out that they were unemployed and living in one of the most expensive states.
This almost started a brotherly argument, except that Joe revised his comment to:
“Look, pinball machines.”
Ever since they were kids, Joe and Guy had a (mostly) friendly rivalry at every game they had ever both played. So they soon forgot that they had no jobs and were grinding their hips against a vintage Black Knight pinball machine, and Star Trek (TNG) pinball machine, both set for two players, and both mysteriously having a scantily clad female on the score board who looked remarkably like Pele in Rennie S & M Garb and Pele in an Orion Slave Girl costume, respectively.
Why our brothers didn't take a hint from this artwork, however excellent, is a mystery. Maybe it just wasn't in the script?
“Hello. Care to play for a little cash?” A man with adorable dimples and a great voice said.
Joe grinned at the word cash. “Sure,” He said before thinking. Because his Pinball-fu was strong.
Guy, a gym teacher, was more level headed about such things and suggested, one friendly game first.
“I am amenable to that idea,” the man said, removing his great coat and revealing a mesh shirt beneath it. “Name's Jack. One game to feel each other out, then one game for cash.” They shook on it.
Cut to Commercial: Is there anything better than puppies? I think not. Except maybe puppies and kittens. <image> puppies</image> Even so, neuter your pets! <image> kittens</image>
“I can't believe we have to walk home along the beach in speedos.” Guy said, “this is all your fault.”
“Do you know the mathematical improbability of the laundry losing all our clothing while we were standing there playing pinball?” Joe asked his brother.
“Is it as astronomical as us getting hustled by a guy in a mesh shirt?” Guy asked, testily, “and then taking our shorts in lieu of cash?”
Joe began to do the mental calculations to answer that question accurately, but replied, “We are lucky that these speedos were in lost and found.”
Guy mused, “it is a lovely day, and we have plenty of sunblock.”
Which is when Dita Von Teese, in an uncredited cameo, stepped in front of out guys and said, “Would one of you carry my puppy for me, she keeps getting lost in my cleavage, and the sand is too hot for her widdle pawsies.”
Which made everything better for our heroes.
As they walked John Barrowman and all of Pele's palanquin bearers did a production number where he sang: “Beautiful Girls.” But all the imagery was of our heroes in their speedos, himself and the Hawaiian Eye Candy. With, Pele and Dita lounging and patting the puppy nearby, enjoying the show.
Our next episode: “True Grit”
