Starring: Matt Bomer as Guy Handsome, Jared Leto as Joe Handsome and Special Guest Star Rosario Dawson as the Goddess Pele. Guest stars: France Ngyuen and Lisa Lu Yan as the Madams Soo
Pele was being fanned by a man who looked very much like Nathan Fillion in an uncredited cameo. Her long legs were stretched out and she was looking into a large pool of black lava, clucking her tongue.
Guy and Joe were trying to get dressed for dinner, but every time the put on their shirts? Disaster.
First it was small disasters, like Joe putting the hair drier down on the toilet seat only to find too late that the seat was up (two guys sharing a hotel room, quelle surprise there) and shorted out the suite.
Guy sat on his bed as he started to button his shirt and it collapsed.
They both got the hint when they finally were by the elevator and when doors opened no elevator was there. Just laughter carried up to them on a burst if smokin' hot air.
Joe and Guy returned to their suite. “Maybe that wasn't a joint hallucination?” Joe said.
“Maybe she wasn't kidding?” Guy said.
Then they poured out one of those little hotel room mini-bar tiny bottles of rum into a pair of paper cups. “To Mom.” They toasted, but as the cups reached their lips nothing was in them.
“Crap!” They said, mindful of their delicate demographic.
Cut to commercial: Have you read Changes by Jim Butcher yet? If the answer is not O! YES! Why are you still waiting?
“We don't own tuxedos, do we.” Guy said, already knowing the answer.
Joe, who was an actuarial back in Chicago, and hence the pragmatic one, said, “they don't let you on a plane without a shirt.”
To which Guy who was the coolest grade school gym teacher ever, replied: “Joe it's like 140 below zero in Chicago right now.”
The very thought gave them both goosebumps. “Crap!” they said together.
And that is why they ended up eating at the hotel pool, and checking out local real estate the next day.
Now they might have noticed as do you and I dear viewer, that the cabbie who picked them up to take them real estate hunting looked remarkably like the helicopter pilot, but they didn't. I think that they were just too relieved that anyone picked up two snow-belt pale shirtless guys.
And that is how they ended up at Madam and Madam Soo's. Two widowed sisters, both of whom who had explained that they were the widows of conjoined twin brothers over a lovely tea, while the brothers assured them that they really weren't kooks.
The Madams Soo wondered why the boys thought that they would even care.
So that evening, Joe Handsome and his brother Guy Handsome moved in to the small beach cottage behind the widows Soo. It had two bedrooms, two bathrooms and common living/dining area with a galley kitchen.
Not as cool as Jim West and Artemus Gordon's Train, but no one could argue about the coolness of their view.
Except, maybe, the Madams Soo, who thought that THEIR new view was even better.
Stay tuned for our next episode. “Stock in Sunblock”
