Starring: Matt Bomer as Guy Handsome, Jared Leto as Joe Handsome and Special Guest Star Rosario Dawson as the Goddess Pele.
Introducing: Katty – as herself, sort of, but not really.
Rain sheeted down as a mild day was blessed with a tropical shower, and so it was that our heroes, Joe and Guy Handsome, were not only pumping the pedals of their pedicabs shirtlessly, but in a shorts that were plastered to their bodies with rain.
Pele, who had been busy smiting a writer who had dropped the letter P off of her name when transferring a line, was relaxing from the exertion, sipping a pina colada and decided to see what would happen if....
Joe heard a faint cry of “'help!” And since he had no fare (he was returning from a grocery run for Mrs. Amahai-Amahai) he veered to see if he could assist whomever the sweet feminine voice belonged to.
There he saw her, in a pair of white pedal pusher and floral shirt, also plastered to her in the rain, a woman near his own age who was holding a kitten close to her bosom (which was an excellently polite reason to look at a woman's bosom, he thought.) and dangling/clinging to a low dipping section of a turn metal seamed roof.
Cut to commercial: Metal roofs are durable, fire retardant and almost maintenance-free. They are also energy efficient; metal reflects heat and blocks its transfer into the attic.
Had Joe not been an actuarial in his heart of hearts, he might have said something bold like: Jump! I will catch you! But he was so instead he said, “Hang on a moment, I saw a ladder.” Whereupon he nipped quickly around the house to grab the ladder and bring it to where he could easily climb up and help her down.
Katty, (who was playing herself, mostly) now found that she was clinging to Joe Handsome's neck with one arm and plastered against his chest, and for ease of ladder climbing down, she decided it would not be remiss to wrap her legs around his incredibly well toned hips. The sigh that emerged from her was probably from relief. Well, okay maybe not. Maybe it was another sort of sigh altogether, but who would blame her?
Soon they were seated side by side on the passenger seat of his pedicab and just then the sun broke out again! Oh, wait, no, that was just Joe smiling. “Hi.” He stammered, looking at the kitten again, and again, frequently.
“Hi. Thank you.” She replied. “He was burning his widdle pawsie on the hot tin roof there, and I had to rescue him.” She moved the kitten up so that their eyes met. Her heart went pittta-pat. The beat was not unlike a tarantella.
“You are very brave.” He said to her. “Did you burn your legs?” Which of course gave him an excellent reason to look to see if her legs were burned.
“A little,” she admitted shyly. “When the rain started I slid, and I didn't want to fall... with the kitten, you know?”
“I have some... lotion at home. It is really good on burns. Aloe. Bill Nye approves of aloe cream.” He said, looking into her eyes again.
“Lotion sounds very nice,” She said. “But what about the kitten?”
The kitten soon found himself being fed some ahi-ahi, as Joe applied lotion.
...and Guy was relegated to the hammock and the rain.
But, he didn't mind.
Our next chapter: Spoon Raider.
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