Starring: Matt Bomer as Guy Handsome, Jared Leto as Joe Handsome and Special Guest Star Rosario Dawson as the Goddess Pele.
Guest star: Emily Blunt
“This is a bad idea.” Joe cautioned.
“This is a great idea!” Guy insisted.
One of their sometime customers was throwing a costume party, and while Joe and Guy Handsome had technically not been invited, they had been told the time and date and place. Plus, it was free food. No, the brothers were not yet hurting for money, exactly, but they were not gaining any ground.
Since it had been Guy's idea, Joe had insisted that Guy come up with costumes.
He had several wonderful ideas, because, as brothers they had often donned theme costumes together ever since they were young (and their Mom had made them costumes.)
“Sherlock Holmes and Watson!” Guy suggested.
“Victorian guys wear shirts!” Joe pointed out.
“No Shirt Sherlock!” Guy suggested.
Joe laughed, liking that idea but that meant they still needed to work around Watson.
“Diapers and nuks.” Guy said.
“Nope, not really great for the picking up of les femmes.” Joe countered.
“What about non-themed costumes?” Guy asked, “You could go as Tarzan, which would be a chick magnet, and I will go as Thomas in his Oberon costume.”
“People will just think you are a monarch butterfly.” Joe pointed out.
“No, people will think I am a SMOKING HOT monarch butterfly.” Guy corrected his brother.
Cut to Commercial: The Space Elevator. Will it have muzak? http://science.nasa.gov/science-news/science-at-nasa/2000/ast07sep_1/
Gaye Meadows looked up and saw the Handsome Brothers walking around her pool, even though she had not invited them to the party. As she admired their mostly lack of costumes she saw the error in her ways. She was dressed as a 1940s pin up girl, and she did it well. “Hrm,” she said, as the butterfly performed a feat of legerdemain for another guest. “Do I know you two?” She asked, teasing.
Joe and Guy got ready to face the music. Since they had danced to it already, it seemed only fair. “We will stay and clean up.” Joe offered. (This almost always meant that Guy did the cleaning and Joe supervised.)
Gaye laughed and said, “oh, not only do you crash my party, but you want to finagle a way to stay late?” Giving out a little shoulder with attitude.
Which made Joe do a body blush.
“No, it is fine. I should have invited you both. Not,” she added, “just because you are eye candy. Because you are nice guys and always help people out. I forgot for a moment to see you as people and not as pedicabbies.” Then she gave them each a hug, “ but you can stay and clean up.”
Everyone had a great time.
Our next episode: We interrupt this broadcast.
31 March, 2011
30 March, 2011
Tonight's Episode: Eyjafjallajökull
Starring: Matt Bomer as Guy Handsome, Jared Leto as Joe Handsome and Special Guest Star Rosario Dawson as the Goddess Pele.
Guest star: Hilmir Snær Guðnason
Pele was rather taken with Ástríkur Veturliði. He was not the usual tourist to Hawaii. For one thing, he had the thickest yellowest braids that she had ever seen. Second, he almost never wore a shirt, and of his own accord! Third, he almost never wore pants, favoring a leather skirt-like garment, of which she approved to no end. Oh and boots. He wore boots like a Viking.
When the Handsome Brothers had warned him to buy good rum and be respectful when he visited the volcano, this is what he said:
“Raven tressed goddess In heated halls her boudoir
Rises my heart to her like a steam cloud.
Homeland cold but for her ardor I come to visit her abode.”
At which point the brothers figured him for a dead man, and decided to convince him to learn to surf instead. Because, the shark god would only eat you. (Although they didn't know the shark god, so they couldn’t out and say that, not for certain.)
“ Ástríkur Veturliði left his meadhall long he traveled
Swift in steely bird belly seeking strangers
She who boils rock like puddings seeks her favor.”
So, they didn't tell him about the helicopter rides, but they did help him find the bus route, and only once he promised to
“Grace you larder golden sea foam
Tilt we many drink to desert.
Eating bread plates yak curds drown love apples.”
(“I think that is pizza” Guys whispered.)
Cut to commercial: Kennings. Not Barbie's boy toy. The rich expressive language of the sagas. Why don't we speak like this more often? No, it isn't why Vikings brained each other so often.
“Earth blood mother weeps good soil
I come to see thee sugared spirits
Drink your health here as in homeland.” Ástríkur Veturliði said, sitting on the edge of the caldera.
“No words are worthy of thy beauty
Friend to farmers hot spring heater
Heaving bosom of earth eternal.” Ástríkur Veturliði tossed in a dozen long stemmed magma red roses which he had purchased for this very reason.
(“He is going to throw himself in!” Joe said and was ready to rush forward.)
“Bat of Castro, at great peril
bore I hither slake your ardor
Share my dream drink as my spirit!” Ástríkur Veturliði said. And for his entire besotted vacation he sang to, recited to and collected Pele memorabilia.
Then before he took his flight back to Skogar he told our heroes of his only lament, that to bear a rock tossed by Pele from her home would bring a curse. And he wanted a volcanic rock so very, very much.
And you, dear reader, know the rest.
Guest star: Hilmir Snær Guðnason
Pele was rather taken with Ástríkur Veturliði. He was not the usual tourist to Hawaii. For one thing, he had the thickest yellowest braids that she had ever seen. Second, he almost never wore a shirt, and of his own accord! Third, he almost never wore pants, favoring a leather skirt-like garment, of which she approved to no end. Oh and boots. He wore boots like a Viking.
When the Handsome Brothers had warned him to buy good rum and be respectful when he visited the volcano, this is what he said:
“Raven tressed goddess In heated halls her boudoir
Rises my heart to her like a steam cloud.
Homeland cold but for her ardor I come to visit her abode.”
At which point the brothers figured him for a dead man, and decided to convince him to learn to surf instead. Because, the shark god would only eat you. (Although they didn't know the shark god, so they couldn’t out and say that, not for certain.)
“ Ástríkur Veturliði left his meadhall long he traveled
Swift in steely bird belly seeking strangers
She who boils rock like puddings seeks her favor.”
So, they didn't tell him about the helicopter rides, but they did help him find the bus route, and only once he promised to
“Grace you larder golden sea foam
Tilt we many drink to desert.
Eating bread plates yak curds drown love apples.”
(“I think that is pizza” Guys whispered.)
Cut to commercial: Kennings. Not Barbie's boy toy. The rich expressive language of the sagas. Why don't we speak like this more often? No, it isn't why Vikings brained each other so often.
“Earth blood mother weeps good soil
I come to see thee sugared spirits
Drink your health here as in homeland.” Ástríkur Veturliði said, sitting on the edge of the caldera.
“No words are worthy of thy beauty
Friend to farmers hot spring heater
Heaving bosom of earth eternal.” Ástríkur Veturliði tossed in a dozen long stemmed magma red roses which he had purchased for this very reason.
(“He is going to throw himself in!” Joe said and was ready to rush forward.)
“Bat of Castro, at great peril
bore I hither slake your ardor
Share my dream drink as my spirit!” Ástríkur Veturliði said. And for his entire besotted vacation he sang to, recited to and collected Pele memorabilia.
Then before he took his flight back to Skogar he told our heroes of his only lament, that to bear a rock tossed by Pele from her home would bring a curse. And he wanted a volcanic rock so very, very much.
And you, dear reader, know the rest.
29 March, 2011
Starring: Matt Bomer as Guy Handsome, Jared Leto as Joe Handsome and Special Guest Star Rosario Dawson as the Goddess Pele.
Guest starring: Akebono and Gilbert Gottfried
The volcano was restless. Which for Chicago boys like the Handsome brothers, Guy and Joe, was startling and, for gentlemen cursed by Pele in general, was unnerving.
The Big Man, who ran the newsstand closest to the Pedicab stand, strummed his new Ukelele in between his snack of horse meat sashimi and mochi. “Pele is upset today. Did either of you guys wear a shirt recently?”
Joe shook his head to indicate that, “no we did not.”
The Big Man tsked loudly. “Rock thief,” He said enigmatically.
As if it was a cue, Beauregard Bogaardus of the Chapel Hill Bogaarduses came rolling out on to the sidewalk. If anyone had cared to notice, the fellow wheeling him on the handcart bore a remarkable resemblance to a certain helicopter pilot who, in turn, bore an incredible resemblance to Nathan Fillion in an uncredited cameo, but not one noticed.
“Save me,” He bleated in an accent unique to someone born and raised on a plantation in the deep South, but whose nanny during his speech pattern's formative years had been from a different sort of south, such as the South Bronx.
He was being rolled on a hand cart due to an extraordinary array of casts and pins adorning his body, over which he wore white Bermuda shorts and a plaid shirt of pastel rose, mint green and creamsicle orange. The Volcano rumbled and he squealed, “She's gonna kill me!!!” Then he uttered a sound best described as a squawk.
The Big Man nodded to himself and muttered, “uh huh,” in a what-did-I-tell-you tone, then went back to playing Mozart's 42nd in E minor on his uke.
Of course, Guy and Joe rushed to the man's assistance. They were both gentlemen. “What happened?” Joe asked.
Cut to commercial: Tonight's Episode is brought to you by Pikacthulhu by Nemo Hastus.
http://i219.photobucket.com/albums/cc139/blazeorama/pikacthulhu.jpg Pele and Pikacthulhu get along great, and are often found playing Magic the Gathering together.
Guy took the single bag that the afflicted Southern South Bronxer had with him. He shook it. “It feels like it is full of rocks.”
Joe said, “help me get him wedged...” And as they bungeed Beauregard safely into the pedicab, he began his lurid tale.
“The brochures all said that if you took a volcanic rock home with you, it would incur the wrath of Pele. But, I didn't believe that! So I took four rocks.” He shuddered and whimpered, “When I got home, everything went wrong! My crop got weevils. Peppers don't get weevils!”
“Whoa.” The brother's replied pedaling him toward the national park.
“She appeared! This Hot Chick,” a bump appeared in the road that rattled Mr. Bogaardus in his casts, but didn't seem to disturb Joe in the least, “Ow! Watchit !” He whined. Then he corrected himself, “this smokin’ hot woman, in a magma colored muu-muu.”
Visions of Pele leaning in on a sleeping rock thief and growling, filled everyone's head. Everyone's!
“Then I started slipping on goo in my deep fried Pork Plant.” He sighed, “and then my wife left me for a Bill Clinton impersonator. So I realized, it was time to return the rocks.”
“Yeah, I'd guess so.” Guy replied.
So he did, and Pele, reclining on a bed of magma hued flowers, threw her head back and laughed.
Our next episode: Eyjafjallajökull
Guest starring: Akebono and Gilbert Gottfried
The volcano was restless. Which for Chicago boys like the Handsome brothers, Guy and Joe, was startling and, for gentlemen cursed by Pele in general, was unnerving.
The Big Man, who ran the newsstand closest to the Pedicab stand, strummed his new Ukelele in between his snack of horse meat sashimi and mochi. “Pele is upset today. Did either of you guys wear a shirt recently?”
Joe shook his head to indicate that, “no we did not.”
The Big Man tsked loudly. “Rock thief,” He said enigmatically.
As if it was a cue, Beauregard Bogaardus of the Chapel Hill Bogaarduses came rolling out on to the sidewalk. If anyone had cared to notice, the fellow wheeling him on the handcart bore a remarkable resemblance to a certain helicopter pilot who, in turn, bore an incredible resemblance to Nathan Fillion in an uncredited cameo, but not one noticed.
“Save me,” He bleated in an accent unique to someone born and raised on a plantation in the deep South, but whose nanny during his speech pattern's formative years had been from a different sort of south, such as the South Bronx.
He was being rolled on a hand cart due to an extraordinary array of casts and pins adorning his body, over which he wore white Bermuda shorts and a plaid shirt of pastel rose, mint green and creamsicle orange. The Volcano rumbled and he squealed, “She's gonna kill me!!!” Then he uttered a sound best described as a squawk.
The Big Man nodded to himself and muttered, “uh huh,” in a what-did-I-tell-you tone, then went back to playing Mozart's 42nd in E minor on his uke.
Of course, Guy and Joe rushed to the man's assistance. They were both gentlemen. “What happened?” Joe asked.
Cut to commercial: Tonight's Episode is brought to you by Pikacthulhu by Nemo Hastus.
http://i219.photobucket.com/albums/cc139/blazeorama/pikacthulhu.jpg Pele and Pikacthulhu get along great, and are often found playing Magic the Gathering together.
Guy took the single bag that the afflicted Southern South Bronxer had with him. He shook it. “It feels like it is full of rocks.”
Joe said, “help me get him wedged...” And as they bungeed Beauregard safely into the pedicab, he began his lurid tale.
“The brochures all said that if you took a volcanic rock home with you, it would incur the wrath of Pele. But, I didn't believe that! So I took four rocks.” He shuddered and whimpered, “When I got home, everything went wrong! My crop got weevils. Peppers don't get weevils!”
“Whoa.” The brother's replied pedaling him toward the national park.
“She appeared! This Hot Chick,” a bump appeared in the road that rattled Mr. Bogaardus in his casts, but didn't seem to disturb Joe in the least, “Ow! Watchit !” He whined. Then he corrected himself, “this smokin’ hot woman, in a magma colored muu-muu.”
Visions of Pele leaning in on a sleeping rock thief and growling, filled everyone's head. Everyone's!
“Then I started slipping on goo in my deep fried Pork Plant.” He sighed, “and then my wife left me for a Bill Clinton impersonator. So I realized, it was time to return the rocks.”
“Yeah, I'd guess so.” Guy replied.
So he did, and Pele, reclining on a bed of magma hued flowers, threw her head back and laughed.
Our next episode: Eyjafjallajökull
27 March, 2011
Tonight's Episode: Spoon Raider
Starring: Matt Bomer as Guy Handsome, Jared Leto as Joe Handsome and Special Guest Star Rosario Dawson as the Goddess Pele.
Guest starring: Angelina Jolie as Cara Loft
She walked into the sun with an even stride and a confidence which was as easy as her heels were high.
Guy almost gave himself whiplash as he turned his head to follow her long legged strides as she made her way toward the pedicab stand. He and his brother, Joe Handsome, had just just finished a run with two large and jovial tourist ladies to a local restaurant, and by rights they should both have been exhausted, but Guy felt a surge of energy and he stood in the saddle (or at least the bicycle seat) and pedaled to the metal sign that said, taxi stand.
She removed her sunglasses, and watched as the shirtless hunk cut off half a dozen other pedicabbies to pull up in front of her and ask: “Where to?”
He studied her ruby glossed lips as she nibbled promisingly on the temple of her eye-wear. “Do you have the whole day, and possibly...” she asked in a husky tone, “the next to give me?”
Guy almost fell off of his bicycle seat, “Yes, Ma'am,” he said once he remembered to swallow.
“And,” She asked, tossing her long brown hair in what seemed, to him, to be slow motion, “are you... fast?” She smiled, revealing dimples.
Guy wished that he had a pillow. “Faster than any of these guys, and about as fast my brother, Joe,” He commented loyally as Joe pulled up next to him.
“Hello, Joe,” The woman said, her voice a husky promise of greeting.
Joe did fall off of his bicycle seat.
She chuckled warmly. “You are both handsome,” She said.
“Yes, Ma'am,” Guy said, “I am Guy Handsome and this is my brother Joe Handsome.”
Joe waved from the pavement.
“Do you ever wear shirts?” She continued, observing them closely.
Cut to commercial: Do you like hunky men without shirts on? Then you should read the novels Shannon K. Butcher writes! Sensitive, hunky men, who carry swords or guns, or both! Sexy stuff. Check out her web site: http://www.shannonkbutcher.com/
“Not,” Joe squeaked out, “if we know what is good for us.”
“But we can wear Tuxedos, when the situation calls for it,” Guy admitted.
“Hmm,” she nodded and mounted Guy's pedicab, “well I am Cara Loft, and I collect... spoons.” She crossed her legs. All the other pedicab operators fell off of their bicycle seats. (Joe, with the native intellect to still be on the pavement only lurched.)
“Spoons,” Guy repeated in a sort of trance. “I know what a spoon is.”
“Good,” She moued at him, “Then, take me to every tourist spot that sells or trades spoons, and you will be... amply... rewarded.”
Her favorite spoon came from a lady who was vending off of a palanquin. It depicted Pele.
From the author: If you are enjoying CT<141please, direct your friends, siblings, frenemies to my site! It is a sad thing to be a blogger without traffic!
*HUGS*
Blaze
Guest starring: Angelina Jolie as Cara Loft
She walked into the sun with an even stride and a confidence which was as easy as her heels were high.
Guy almost gave himself whiplash as he turned his head to follow her long legged strides as she made her way toward the pedicab stand. He and his brother, Joe Handsome, had just just finished a run with two large and jovial tourist ladies to a local restaurant, and by rights they should both have been exhausted, but Guy felt a surge of energy and he stood in the saddle (or at least the bicycle seat) and pedaled to the metal sign that said, taxi stand.
She removed her sunglasses, and watched as the shirtless hunk cut off half a dozen other pedicabbies to pull up in front of her and ask: “Where to?”
He studied her ruby glossed lips as she nibbled promisingly on the temple of her eye-wear. “Do you have the whole day, and possibly...” she asked in a husky tone, “the next to give me?”
Guy almost fell off of his bicycle seat, “Yes, Ma'am,” he said once he remembered to swallow.
“And,” She asked, tossing her long brown hair in what seemed, to him, to be slow motion, “are you... fast?” She smiled, revealing dimples.
Guy wished that he had a pillow. “Faster than any of these guys, and about as fast my brother, Joe,” He commented loyally as Joe pulled up next to him.
“Hello, Joe,” The woman said, her voice a husky promise of greeting.
Joe did fall off of his bicycle seat.
She chuckled warmly. “You are both handsome,” She said.
“Yes, Ma'am,” Guy said, “I am Guy Handsome and this is my brother Joe Handsome.”
Joe waved from the pavement.
“Do you ever wear shirts?” She continued, observing them closely.
Cut to commercial: Do you like hunky men without shirts on? Then you should read the novels Shannon K. Butcher writes! Sensitive, hunky men, who carry swords or guns, or both! Sexy stuff. Check out her web site: http://www.shannonkbutcher.com/
“Not,” Joe squeaked out, “if we know what is good for us.”
“But we can wear Tuxedos, when the situation calls for it,” Guy admitted.
“Hmm,” she nodded and mounted Guy's pedicab, “well I am Cara Loft, and I collect... spoons.” She crossed her legs. All the other pedicab operators fell off of their bicycle seats. (Joe, with the native intellect to still be on the pavement only lurched.)
“Spoons,” Guy repeated in a sort of trance. “I know what a spoon is.”
“Good,” She moued at him, “Then, take me to every tourist spot that sells or trades spoons, and you will be... amply... rewarded.”
Her favorite spoon came from a lady who was vending off of a palanquin. It depicted Pele.
From the author: If you are enjoying CT<141please, direct your friends, siblings, frenemies to my site! It is a sad thing to be a blogger without traffic!
*HUGS*
Blaze
25 March, 2011
Tonight's Episode: Katty on a Hot Tin roof
Starring: Matt Bomer as Guy Handsome, Jared Leto as Joe Handsome and Special Guest Star Rosario Dawson as the Goddess Pele.
Introducing: Katty – as herself, sort of, but not really.
Rain sheeted down as a mild day was blessed with a tropical shower, and so it was that our heroes, Joe and Guy Handsome, were not only pumping the pedals of their pedicabs shirtlessly, but in a shorts that were plastered to their bodies with rain.
Pele, who had been busy smiting a writer who had dropped the letter P off of her name when transferring a line, was relaxing from the exertion, sipping a pina colada and decided to see what would happen if....
Joe heard a faint cry of “'help!” And since he had no fare (he was returning from a grocery run for Mrs. Amahai-Amahai) he veered to see if he could assist whomever the sweet feminine voice belonged to.
There he saw her, in a pair of white pedal pusher and floral shirt, also plastered to her in the rain, a woman near his own age who was holding a kitten close to her bosom (which was an excellently polite reason to look at a woman's bosom, he thought.) and dangling/clinging to a low dipping section of a turn metal seamed roof.
Cut to commercial: Metal roofs are durable, fire retardant and almost maintenance-free. They are also energy efficient; metal reflects heat and blocks its transfer into the attic.
Had Joe not been an actuarial in his heart of hearts, he might have said something bold like: Jump! I will catch you! But he was so instead he said, “Hang on a moment, I saw a ladder.” Whereupon he nipped quickly around the house to grab the ladder and bring it to where he could easily climb up and help her down.
Katty, (who was playing herself, mostly) now found that she was clinging to Joe Handsome's neck with one arm and plastered against his chest, and for ease of ladder climbing down, she decided it would not be remiss to wrap her legs around his incredibly well toned hips. The sigh that emerged from her was probably from relief. Well, okay maybe not. Maybe it was another sort of sigh altogether, but who would blame her?
Soon they were seated side by side on the passenger seat of his pedicab and just then the sun broke out again! Oh, wait, no, that was just Joe smiling. “Hi.” He stammered, looking at the kitten again, and again, frequently.
“Hi. Thank you.” She replied. “He was burning his widdle pawsie on the hot tin roof there, and I had to rescue him.” She moved the kitten up so that their eyes met. Her heart went pittta-pat. The beat was not unlike a tarantella.
“You are very brave.” He said to her. “Did you burn your legs?” Which of course gave him an excellent reason to look to see if her legs were burned.
“A little,” she admitted shyly. “When the rain started I slid, and I didn't want to fall... with the kitten, you know?”
“I have some... lotion at home. It is really good on burns. Aloe. Bill Nye approves of aloe cream.” He said, looking into her eyes again.
“Lotion sounds very nice,” She said. “But what about the kitten?”
The kitten soon found himself being fed some ahi-ahi, as Joe applied lotion.
...and Guy was relegated to the hammock and the rain.
But, he didn't mind.
Our next chapter: Spoon Raider.
Introducing: Katty – as herself, sort of, but not really.
Rain sheeted down as a mild day was blessed with a tropical shower, and so it was that our heroes, Joe and Guy Handsome, were not only pumping the pedals of their pedicabs shirtlessly, but in a shorts that were plastered to their bodies with rain.
Pele, who had been busy smiting a writer who had dropped the letter P off of her name when transferring a line, was relaxing from the exertion, sipping a pina colada and decided to see what would happen if....
Joe heard a faint cry of “'help!” And since he had no fare (he was returning from a grocery run for Mrs. Amahai-Amahai) he veered to see if he could assist whomever the sweet feminine voice belonged to.
There he saw her, in a pair of white pedal pusher and floral shirt, also plastered to her in the rain, a woman near his own age who was holding a kitten close to her bosom (which was an excellently polite reason to look at a woman's bosom, he thought.) and dangling/clinging to a low dipping section of a turn metal seamed roof.
Cut to commercial: Metal roofs are durable, fire retardant and almost maintenance-free. They are also energy efficient; metal reflects heat and blocks its transfer into the attic.
Had Joe not been an actuarial in his heart of hearts, he might have said something bold like: Jump! I will catch you! But he was so instead he said, “Hang on a moment, I saw a ladder.” Whereupon he nipped quickly around the house to grab the ladder and bring it to where he could easily climb up and help her down.
Katty, (who was playing herself, mostly) now found that she was clinging to Joe Handsome's neck with one arm and plastered against his chest, and for ease of ladder climbing down, she decided it would not be remiss to wrap her legs around his incredibly well toned hips. The sigh that emerged from her was probably from relief. Well, okay maybe not. Maybe it was another sort of sigh altogether, but who would blame her?
Soon they were seated side by side on the passenger seat of his pedicab and just then the sun broke out again! Oh, wait, no, that was just Joe smiling. “Hi.” He stammered, looking at the kitten again, and again, frequently.
“Hi. Thank you.” She replied. “He was burning his widdle pawsie on the hot tin roof there, and I had to rescue him.” She moved the kitten up so that their eyes met. Her heart went pittta-pat. The beat was not unlike a tarantella.
“You are very brave.” He said to her. “Did you burn your legs?” Which of course gave him an excellent reason to look to see if her legs were burned.
“A little,” she admitted shyly. “When the rain started I slid, and I didn't want to fall... with the kitten, you know?”
“I have some... lotion at home. It is really good on burns. Aloe. Bill Nye approves of aloe cream.” He said, looking into her eyes again.
“Lotion sounds very nice,” She said. “But what about the kitten?”
The kitten soon found himself being fed some ahi-ahi, as Joe applied lotion.
...and Guy was relegated to the hammock and the rain.
But, he didn't mind.
Our next chapter: Spoon Raider.
Tonight's Episode: Lee Berto
Starring: Matt Bomer as Guy Handsome, Jared Leto as Joe Handsome and Special Guest Star Rosario Dawson as the Goddess Pele.
Guest Star: Bob Hoskins
Things were never slow in the pedicab trade, at least not for the Handsome brothers, Joe and Guy. They had a never ending female clientele as well as the odd family, gay guys, and on this particular day...
Guy ran up to a smallish man who was wrestling several large bags and a green spiked collar meant maybe for a dog the size of Clifford. “Here, let me help you with that.”
“Thanks, buddy.” The man was stout, and beginning to show a certain amount of pattern balding. He was dressed, quite surprisingly in a green toga, which was hiked up to show very loud yellow red and green plaid shorts and huarachi sandals with white tube socks.
Joe, who was deep into his actuarial tables saw and heard nothing until the man settled into his pedicab.
All the bags were deposited into Guy's pedicab, but the man saw Joe's screen just as he closed it and said, “an insurance man!”
So he introduced himself as Lee Berto. His small company was also an insurance and investment counseling place, called Liberty, on account, he explained that his goal was to free people from worry about death, dismemberment and retiring on a dog food diet.
“Yes, if you consider the payments as an annuity over the years...” Joe began to agree.
Here, Guy interrupted. “What is with the toga and the pycopay dog collar?”
Cut to commercial: Steampunk. *images of Vernesque mechanizations and happy, albeit mad, scientists in rose colored goggles.
“Oh, that.” Lee laughed, “this is my statue of Liberty costume!” He explained that he intended to spend the day in costume, waving at all passers by in order to bolster business.
“No offense,” Joe remarked casting a long and contemplative look over his shoulder at his passenger, “but people really want an insurance broker to seem serious... maybe even dour.”
“Not here.” Lee Berto countered, “this is Paradise. In Paradise people like a bloke with a sense of humor.”
“But the Statue of Liberty is a tall stout woman.” Guy just had to put that out there.
“I could stand outside with maybe just the tiara and torch and you could actually look like you to speak to customers.” Joe offered before his occipital lobe and his frontal cortex could synchronize. (He just loved being in Insurance.)
“You are a pair of righteous Dudes.” Lee Berto remarked. “Would you?”
And so, for the rest of the day, Joe did just that. Standing out in front of the sign that proclaimed, Liberty from Fear of Death, Dismemberment or Retirement on the Dog Food Menu Plan.
Guy wondered how he ended up involved, but since he was, he undertook to entertain the children of the mostly female clientèle who dropped in, with games of freeze tag, and red rover, as their Moms spoke to Lee Berto, and most of their Moms chatted up his brother and himself as well. Especially the single ones.
Pele laughed. It never ceased to amuse her that neither Guy nor Joe Handsome could figure out why so many women flocked around them. “Goofballs.” She whispered to you all, dear audience.
Our next Episode: Katty on a hot tin Roof.
Guest Star: Bob Hoskins
Things were never slow in the pedicab trade, at least not for the Handsome brothers, Joe and Guy. They had a never ending female clientele as well as the odd family, gay guys, and on this particular day...
Guy ran up to a smallish man who was wrestling several large bags and a green spiked collar meant maybe for a dog the size of Clifford. “Here, let me help you with that.”
“Thanks, buddy.” The man was stout, and beginning to show a certain amount of pattern balding. He was dressed, quite surprisingly in a green toga, which was hiked up to show very loud yellow red and green plaid shorts and huarachi sandals with white tube socks.
Joe, who was deep into his actuarial tables saw and heard nothing until the man settled into his pedicab.
All the bags were deposited into Guy's pedicab, but the man saw Joe's screen just as he closed it and said, “an insurance man!”
So he introduced himself as Lee Berto. His small company was also an insurance and investment counseling place, called Liberty, on account, he explained that his goal was to free people from worry about death, dismemberment and retiring on a dog food diet.
“Yes, if you consider the payments as an annuity over the years...” Joe began to agree.
Here, Guy interrupted. “What is with the toga and the pycopay dog collar?”
Cut to commercial: Steampunk. *images of Vernesque mechanizations and happy, albeit mad, scientists in rose colored goggles.
“Oh, that.” Lee laughed, “this is my statue of Liberty costume!” He explained that he intended to spend the day in costume, waving at all passers by in order to bolster business.
“No offense,” Joe remarked casting a long and contemplative look over his shoulder at his passenger, “but people really want an insurance broker to seem serious... maybe even dour.”
“Not here.” Lee Berto countered, “this is Paradise. In Paradise people like a bloke with a sense of humor.”
“But the Statue of Liberty is a tall stout woman.” Guy just had to put that out there.
“I could stand outside with maybe just the tiara and torch and you could actually look like you to speak to customers.” Joe offered before his occipital lobe and his frontal cortex could synchronize. (He just loved being in Insurance.)
“You are a pair of righteous Dudes.” Lee Berto remarked. “Would you?”
And so, for the rest of the day, Joe did just that. Standing out in front of the sign that proclaimed, Liberty from Fear of Death, Dismemberment or Retirement on the Dog Food Menu Plan.
Guy wondered how he ended up involved, but since he was, he undertook to entertain the children of the mostly female clientèle who dropped in, with games of freeze tag, and red rover, as their Moms spoke to Lee Berto, and most of their Moms chatted up his brother and himself as well. Especially the single ones.
Pele laughed. It never ceased to amuse her that neither Guy nor Joe Handsome could figure out why so many women flocked around them. “Goofballs.” She whispered to you all, dear audience.
Our next Episode: Katty on a hot tin Roof.
24 March, 2011
Tonight's Episode: She-Who-Shapes-The-Sacred-Land
Starring: Matt Bomer as Guy Handsome, Jared Leto as Joe Handsome and Special Guest Star Rosario Dawson as the Goddess Pele.
Guest Stars: Kaliponi Hula Company
Handsome brothers in hammocks sway; Ukuleles begin to play,
Pretty Pele begins to comb her dark black hair in her vaulted home.
Pahula platform is set in groves where flowering trees are met
By dancers stout and dancer lean, who as in ancient times are seen.
Like the flowing of each tress, Pele's fire can't suppress
Streaming flows the living land, birth and death both hand in hand.
The story flows from foot and drum, fire wand and finger strum.
Ancient tales of loss and love, and magma flowing from above.
Like Pele's tresses to the sea, the land is restless, so is she.
She who shapes the sacred land, with fiery wit and gentle hand.
When others of her divine ilk have gone to rest on beds of silk,
When others, tired, and unseen, still she toils, this Island Queen.
When others faded like legends lost, she puts forth her best and most.
When others skulk like a shade, Pele refuses to bow and fade.
She sits in her mountain home and heat rises on molten foam
She hums a hula melody as liquid rock floes singe the sea.
The changing Island never rests as the mountain's growing crests
Glowing fissures and pitch black ground, devour slowly all around.
Yet, like lovers often do, passions heat will renew
Fertile flowering land and earth, Pele's anger gives rebirth.
Come see my caldera she'll invite, but bring libation or I'll bite.
Come worship beauty on my slope, and look on me with fear and hope.
Upon my shoulders come and dance;draw my dark and smoldering glance.
Remind me, ancient though I be, that people still come to honor me.
She rises groomed, dons her gown, the lava ceases streaming down.
Her lissome limbs her unshod feet, Step upon a mortal street
Her eyes they glisten as they look, as she sighed the Islands shook.
The cursed in their hammocks sway, and Pele loves it just that way.
She loves the new just as the old, she loves beauty when it is bold
She is capricious, gracious, grand surveying changing living land.
A kiss she plants upon each cheek, and shushes all who might speak
The brothers sleep, unaware of what's in store for the pair.
Pele summons her bearers then, to bring forth her pretty palanquin,
“Bear me forth in quiet hush, for works afoot and I must rush.”
Our next episode: Lee Berto.
Guest Stars: Kaliponi Hula Company
Handsome brothers in hammocks sway; Ukuleles begin to play,
Pretty Pele begins to comb her dark black hair in her vaulted home.
Pahula platform is set in groves where flowering trees are met
By dancers stout and dancer lean, who as in ancient times are seen.
Like the flowing of each tress, Pele's fire can't suppress
Streaming flows the living land, birth and death both hand in hand.
The story flows from foot and drum, fire wand and finger strum.
Ancient tales of loss and love, and magma flowing from above.
Like Pele's tresses to the sea, the land is restless, so is she.
She who shapes the sacred land, with fiery wit and gentle hand.
When others of her divine ilk have gone to rest on beds of silk,
When others, tired, and unseen, still she toils, this Island Queen.
When others faded like legends lost, she puts forth her best and most.
When others skulk like a shade, Pele refuses to bow and fade.
She sits in her mountain home and heat rises on molten foam
She hums a hula melody as liquid rock floes singe the sea.
The changing Island never rests as the mountain's growing crests
Glowing fissures and pitch black ground, devour slowly all around.
Yet, like lovers often do, passions heat will renew
Fertile flowering land and earth, Pele's anger gives rebirth.
Come see my caldera she'll invite, but bring libation or I'll bite.
Come worship beauty on my slope, and look on me with fear and hope.
Upon my shoulders come and dance;draw my dark and smoldering glance.
Remind me, ancient though I be, that people still come to honor me.
She rises groomed, dons her gown, the lava ceases streaming down.
Her lissome limbs her unshod feet, Step upon a mortal street
Her eyes they glisten as they look, as she sighed the Islands shook.
The cursed in their hammocks sway, and Pele loves it just that way.
She loves the new just as the old, she loves beauty when it is bold
She is capricious, gracious, grand surveying changing living land.
A kiss she plants upon each cheek, and shushes all who might speak
The brothers sleep, unaware of what's in store for the pair.
Pele summons her bearers then, to bring forth her pretty palanquin,
“Bear me forth in quiet hush, for works afoot and I must rush.”
Our next episode: Lee Berto.
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