Starring: Matt Bomer as Guy Handsome, Jared Leto as Joe Handsome and Special Guest Star Rosario Dawson as the Goddess Pele. Guest Star: Debbie Reynolds
“Did you know that you are more likely to be killed by a falling coconut than by a shark attack?” Joe said to his brother as they waded in the early morning surf. He had enjoyed invoking shark images for his brother whenever they were in water ever since they had both been terrified by Jaws as kids.
Guy watched the surf and elbowed his brother “accidentally” then asked, “So why isn't there a When Coconuts Attack on the Fox network, or Coconut Week on Discovery then?” He pitched his nerf football to his brother, aiming carefully to bean him.
But Joe was already so distracted that he didn't even notice the chartreuse and cyan football careening off his cranium.
A Nun was running down the beach being pursued by ten or fifteen applauding people. “Did you put a shirt on today?” He accused his brother.
Guy walked up to watch the scene and hung his head in shame, “it was Hilfiger.”
Off to their left a Great White Shark crested and devoured the nerf football. (It had thought that it looked rather like Dory, from Finding Nemo and might be a short cut to fame.) If sharks could talk it would have shouted “Air Jaws!” at the zenith of it's leap. On the beach, Pele held up a card with 6.5 written on it in magma red. Too bad the shark didn't have it's eyes opened.
The Handsome brothers ran toward the Nun and each grabbed her by an elbow, then lifting her slightly Rubenesque form between themselves, helped her escape pursuit.
When she was safely in their beach cottage she drew a deep breath and said, “thank you. That was a close one!”
Cut to Commercial: RPGs – no, not rocket propelled grenades, Role Playing Games! What a wonderful way to spend an afternoon with friends. Imagination, socialization and co-operation. Try it!
“You may call me Sister Luc. I am in a predicament because I made a huge mistake in the sixties. Well, didn't everyone?” She fumbled with her scapular. “I had a music career.”
Guy and Joe looked politely blank.
“I prayed for success, which was probably a sin of pride, but worse, I prayed that Debbie Reynolds would be cast as me in the movie!” She leaned toward the exceptionally handsome gentlemen. As a Nun, it was quite possible that she had not ever seen such magnificent pecs.
“That Flying Nun?” Joe asked, reaching into the depths of his recall. (He could however recite Pi to two hundred and fifty places.)
“No, wrong ocean.” Guy whispered to his brother.
“Besides,” Sister Luc sighed, “I had Ricardo Montalban in my movie. That show had to settle for Fernando Lamas.”
She rose and peeked nervously though the jalousie window. “Every time I am in public, I am besieged by fans, and regaled with applause.” She smiled gratefully as Guy handed her a glass of juice. “I had to move out of L.A. The convent got no respite, especially when that girl from the Lucas film started showing up following me around and calling me Mom. They sent me here.”
“We have lots of shirts we can't use any more. We can use them to disguise you, and get you back to the convent by pedicab.” Joe assured her.
And he recited pi for her as they did.
Our next episode: “Good Eggs”
