Starring: Matt Bomer as Guy Handsome, Jared Leto as Joe Handsome and Special Guest Star Rosario Dawson as the Goddess Pele.
Guest Star: Kelly Hu as Master Mi'na'kee
The sudden and unexplained absence of Uncle Howard put the brothers into the doldrums for many days.
Even quoting wonderful figures like, “Did you know one of the largest ever Lu'au was hosted by Kamehameha III in 1847. The list of foods prepared included 271 hogs, 482 large calabashes of poi, 3,125 salt fish, 1,820 fresh fish, 2,245 coconuts, 4,000 taro plants and numerous other delicacies. King Kalakaua, who was known as the ‘Merry Monarch’ for his love of parties and dance, invited over 1500 guests to his 50th birthday luau. They were fed in shifts of 500!” Didn't cheer Joe up.
Finding out that Kaz Kaiser's unitard during a recent race in Seattle had left him in-bare-assed, didn't cheer up Guy. Well, okay, yes it did– but not for long. (That should have been good for at least a week.)
Even the Madams Soo mentioned how things seemed a whole third less wonderful with Howard gone.
Of course there was lots of work to be done, making up for hours missed at being pedi-cabbies while they did fun stuff with Uncle Howie.
But it came to a head when Guy walked in and saw a glazed-like-a-donut Joe about to put on a shirt! “Are you crazy? What are you doing?” He cried aloud.
Joe froze and looked at the khaki colored four pocket safari shirt in his hands. He had even ironed it! “I... I don't know what got into me!” He stammered the words and placed the shirt onto a hanger. “I guess I was feeling... normal.”
Normal. The word hung there in the air like a pall. Normal. It seemed like forever since their lives had been that way, that 9 to 5 way.
“Oh, Joe,” Guy said slowly shaking his head in horror, “We need an intervention.”
Cut to Commercial: Serynzia electronic music! You can hear it here: http://bit.ly/2voHJe
They rode to the yellow and blue sign that said: Chakra Alignment.
Soon the brothers found themselves in a pergola covered garden with babbling water fountains and chimes of lun.
Master Mi'na'kee was facing them, her hands folded in greeting and she looked upon them and saw that their chakras were indeed wildly misaligned. “I can see that the earth is pulling you in many ways at once,” She said circling them. “We will need both sound and hand treatments to realign your pathways.”
Guy and Joe seated themselves, and attempted to relax.
“In the Light of the Creator...We See Only Love!” Master Mi'na'kee struck a tuning fork upon her elbow and the sound thrummed through the garden, harmonizing with some of the chimes and dissonizing with others. She brought her hands forward...
“Did I fall asleep?” Guy asked, suddenly noticing that garden was silent, “I saw myself in a place where everything tasted wonderful and yet it was all less filling.”
“Did we fall asleep?” Joe asked, seeing that the sun was much lower on the horizon, “I saw myself in a place where I could actually taste the rainbow.”
“You were wrapped in the cocoon of golden healing,” Master Mi'na'kee told them. “Your waking sleep gave you the key.”
After they bowed to the Master, (who waived her fee at this time, because the Handsome brothers had agreed that she could use photos of them in her garden on both her website and her brochures,) the brothers rode home.
They had much to contemplate.
